2015年3月25日 星期三

英語加油站- 初老的50條症狀 (我可能不會愛你)

初老的50條症狀

(台詞回顧)
 李大仁
我最近… 突然有個感覺
有一個東西老是在跟我們作對 
有時候 我們很想追著它 希望得到它 好像得到它之後 
我們就可以擁有很多很多東西

有的時候 
我們又會突然被它追的喘不過氣來 
很希望它突然消失 最好永遠都不要再來找我們
 就是時間 
一個曾經每個少女的期待它跑快一點 
可以長大到 能夠擁有認識的第一雙高跟鞋

生日快樂
歡迎光臨「初老的世界」

蠢斃的男人 and 永遠的手下敗將 
我不反對 你叫你的三十歲初老 
不過我的三十歲叫人生的高潮
那代表了我終於遠離了 
傻不愣登 幼稚無知 荷包扁扁 老是被男人騙的智障歲月

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01枕頭旁邊,電腦鍵盤旁邊,出現一堆萬金油、白花油、綠油精等提神藥方
There are a lot of essential oil products next to your pillow and your computer.


02
、只要坐下來,小腹就有一灘肉
As long as you take a seat, there will be proud flesh within your abdomen.

03
、莫名其妙就會一大早醒過來
You will wake up from a usual sleep much earlier than ever before.

04
、躺在沙發看八點檔連續劇30分鐘就會開始熟睡
Whenever you lying on the sofa watching the series of old-fashioned drama, you will definitely fall
asleep within 30 minutes.

05
、對於沒有結論而冗長的會議充滿厭惡
Deeply getting sick of those lengthy and pointless meetings is already a part of your personality.

06
、覺得自己快要被一堆密碼淹沒了!
Your living is full of lots of different secret codes which are bothering you all the time.

07
、對於年輕朋友不讓座這件事情會非常介意
If the younger people are not even willing to offer their seats to the elders, it will irritate you abundantly.

08、對於磁場不對的人,可以毫無牽掛的跟他說再見、再見、再見……
When facing somebody who lives in a different world, you will send any kind of messages to kick him/her away without the least hesitation.

09KTV熱門點播排行榜的歌曲完全不會唱
The hottest songs would be out of your recognition and knowledge ever.

10
、以前可以唱KTV到天亮,現在只要熬夜一天,就會累一個禮拜
Once upon the time, you used to sing and hang out with your friends all the way to the daybreak; but now, staying up for only a day is nothing but killing you.

11、急於想加入facebook之類的網路活動,以免被年輕給遺棄
Being eager to join the social network like Facebook is not because you are interested in itin contrast, you are just afraid of losing the connections with the teens.

12
、如果不喃喃自語,腦子就會打結
Whenever you get busy, a method of soliloquizing can solve all of the tough issues.

13
、越近的事情越容易忘記,越久以前的事情反而越是記得
It is usual for you to get lost of the daily details; in the meantime, the memory of the ole time is becoming clear for you.

14
、覺得五分埔與路邊攤的T恤都是給紙片人穿的
Being deeply convinced of that those clothes brought in Wu Fen Pu or the street vendors can only fit the “bony”.

15、以前煩惱青春痘,現在煩惱小細紋
Instead of being bother by the acne, the wrinkles would be your most concern now.

16、除非參加清早晨運的甩手功或廟會朝山活動,否則很難找到比自己年齡大的聚會
Unless you attend the hand-moving cultivations or temple fairs, you might never run into anyone who is older than you.

17、對於陌生網友的「我們可以交朋友嗎?」說法,覺得無比愚蠢而沒有耐心
You are always impatient or feeling sick of the strangers throw out such superficial opening remarks like “can we be friends?”

18、認識新朋友的速度與機率逐漸鈍化
The chances for you to get familiar with new friends are diminishing.

19
、越來越覺得專家說法都是唬爛
Completely lost the confidence of the saying made by the so-called 
experts.
20、如果一天沒有吃綠色蔬菜就會覺得身體怪怪的
If the diets you take are lack of vegetables, you will find it a little bit creepy.

21、逐漸沒有耐心替爛朋友收爛攤了
You are gradually losing patience of closing up the mess caused by the fair-weather friends.

22
、越來越不喜歡改變「已經習慣的習慣」
Growing a steady spin of resisting to change original lifestyle.

23
、很討厭在外面過夜,因為要帶好多東西
Because of the inconvenience of carrying lots of necessaries with you, spending night in unacquainted places would trouble you very much.

24
、不知不覺,隨身攜帶溫水壺和牙線棒
You start to bring the thermos flask and dental flossers with you unconsciously.

25
、懶的交新朋友的原因,是因為懶的從頭交代自己的人生
Getting tired of making new friends is just because you are already tired of confessing any of your past.

26
、終於認清「老天爺真的很忙」!
Totally agree with the theory of that the god couldn
t help you with everything. Because shit happens in many different forms all the time!

27
、每次看到某某歌手某某影星過世的消息,就要感嘆一次,我們的時代過去了
Every time you copy any news of a movie star or a singer's death, the mourning of the times passing is for you to make.  

28、總是把「重要的東西」放在「重要的地方」,然後把那個「重要的地方」徹底忘記
Always choose to leave the crucial things in major places, and totally forget about the whole thing afterward.

29、說你看過「東京愛情故事」,知道完治與莉香,周遭一片嘩然
It is amazing that if you tell the others you had been reading the Japanese comics named Big Comic Spirits, and also familiar with the main roles like Kanji and Li Xiang.

30、朋友們離婚的(數量/年度)開始超越結婚的(數量/年度)
The sum of the number of the divorces made by your friends is getting more than the opposite one.

31、對於星座、運勢、紫微斗數、塔羅牌、兩性專家與勵志書,已經不感興趣
Not even interested in the theories made by astrology, horoscope, astrology, tarot, gender experts and inspirational books anymore.

32、參加告別式的機率比婚禮多,包白包的機會比包紅包的機會多
The opportunity of attending farewell ceremonies is getting more and more; in the meantime, the chance of giving out the white envelope is getting higher and higher as well.

33、再也不覺得年輕辣妹或帥哥是一種天上掉下來的幸福
No longer take the appearances of young charming girls or boys as blessings of your life.

34、以前糟蹋身體,現在被身體糟蹋
You used to torture your body; but now, the quality of your lives is being bullied by your body.

35、開始注意醫藥新聞,譬如銀杏是不是可以預防老年痴呆
Becoming more attracted to the news related to issues of healthcare such as the preventions of Alzheimer's disease influenced by the ginkgos.

36、對於手機鈴聲開始感覺不耐煩
You start to get tired of the ringing of ringtone.

37、開始關心商品成分、製造商以及賞味期限。
Beginning to care about the products elements, producers and the expiry dates of your charming freshness is unavoidable.

38、最近有件事要告訴你,可是一看見你就全忘了
Recently, here are a couple things I need to tell you, but as soon as I meet you, the memory is all gone.

39、對路邊的問卷部隊非常有意見
Grabbing opinions with the crowds who always try to stuck a lot of questionnaires into your hands.

40、對詐騙集團開始產生周旋的戰鬥力
You are equipped with the special ability of having dogfights with the fraud gangs sufficiently.

41、逐漸喜歡到傳統市場買菜
The duration you wander around in the traditional markets is getting longer and longer.

42、最討厭聽到「如果你不怎樣,就不能怎樣」這種威脅
Hate to hear such kinds of threats like “if you don’t obey to…, you will suffer from… afterward”.

43
、在床上睡不著,起床看電視卻立刻在沙發上打呼了起來。
Instead of lying on the bed, watching television would be strong sleeping pills to get you fell asleep rapidly.

44
、不想起那個忘掉的名字絕不善罷干休
You will never give up thinking about the names you couldn’t actually memorize.

45
、對於RAP一點好感都沒有
Couldn’t catch any figure of favor with rap is a truth for you.

46
、一堆人喊你XX姊、XX哥,而你很想叫他們――閉嘴!
There are plenty of people enjoy calling you by using the honorific idioms, and you are dying to shout their mouths.

47
、討厭過生日這件事
Hate to have any birthday celebrations.

48
、在「不好意思」和「多爭取就會賺到」兩者間,漸漸倒向了後者
You are already tired of skipping all the chances you can absolutely catch.

49
、對超商的集點活動完全沒興趣
Not even interested in the collection activities held by the convenience store at all.
50、對完美起疑,對不完美深信不疑!

Never believe in the perfections of your lives, but completely convinced with the sickness of the whole society.

資料來源我可能不會愛你 維基百科
http://goo.gl/BbhAp

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